Disclaimer: All characters are owned by someone else (i.e not me, Dick Wolf and NBC). Hopefully, no copyrights were breached
in my making of this fic (I didn't mean to!) and I made no money doing this whatsoever. This is purely for my entertainment,
instead of studying! This will probably also contain adult material...kids, look away!
Olivia gradually became aware of the sounds of traffic. Winter sun had filled the room, making it pure white, clean, hopeful.
For a split second, she forgot where she was; registering the soft warm skin beneath her, she smiled at herself for forgetting.
Alex's arms were curled around her waist, her chin on top of Olivia's head; the blonde was snoring lightly, and Olivia couldn't
believe her luck. She felt warm and happy, something she hadn't felt in a long time, and it was entirely due to the woman
beneath her. Sudden memories of the previous night made her groan as she felt strained muscles in her legs; her slight movement
caused Alex to stir, and Olivia whispered a 'Good morning' into the attorney's ear. Alex's eyes flickered open, wincing at
the light, but there was a smile on her face nonetheless. Olivia rolled onto her side, blocking the sun out and turning Alex
to face her. Linking their fingers together, she kissed Alex's knuckles, smoothing her fingers with a callused thumb.
“What a way to wake up,” Alex breathed, pulling the sheet off her lover.
“Hey!” Olivia mock-complained, “it's cold out!”
“Well, I'll just have to warm you up.” Alex licked her lips and fixed Olivia with an unmistakeable stare. The
detective gulped.
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Elliot was pissed off. Not only was he back at work early, he'd managed to get coffee down his shirt already. Another Monday,
another sadistic criminal; the body of a teenager, dismembered and left to rot in a back alley. He was waiting for news from
Warner when Olivia sauntered in, smiling absent-mindedly as she draped her jacket over the back of her chair.
“Hey, El...what are you doing back so early?” she asked her partner, only now realising she wasn't alone. The
smile was still in her eyes, but her face was all seriousness. Elliot couldn't help but smile back – seeing his partner
smile these days was a rarity.
“Couldn't keep me away,” he shrugged, suddenly intrigued by Olivia's demeanour. He hated that what he would tell
her next would more than likely end that good humour. Already, her eyes were scanning the photographs on his desk, grimacing
at the stark reality with which they presented their subject. Olivia briefly closed her eyes, sickened by what she had seen.
“What a way to start a Monday,” she sighed, sitting heavily in her chair. “How old was she?”
“Sixteen.” Elliot tried to keep his emotions in check, but he couldn't help but think of his own daughters and
how he would feel if this happened to one of them. He knew it made Olivia just as mad as it made him; they often had to keep
each other in check. “Munch and Fin are at the crime scene; I figured you wouldn't fancy a trip out there.”
He smiled grimly, closing the folder before him, wishing he could just as easily wipe the images from his mind.
“The ME's getting back to us on what happened,” he said, knowing what Olivia was about to ask. Olivia nodded,
staring at the mess on her desk. There was a pile of work left over from when she had left Friday night, but it was all
irrelevant now. Rising, she took hold of her jacket, and Elliot followed her out. The euphoria that had lasted all weekend
was now pushed to the back of her mind, its loss only making Olivia's mood darker. The victim's identity had been relatively
easy to discover, and her home was nearby. The detectives were thankful of the walk; Olivia felt the winter air burning her
lungs and felt extremely blessed to be alive. She knew that someone, somewhere in this cold, cruel city loved her in a way
she would let no-one else; someone who had little contact with this seedy, vicious side of life and whom she would protect
from it, no matter the cost. She began to see how Elliot felt so protective of his daughters. Their victim was somebody's
daughter; it was this somebody they were visiting just now, and Olivia felt guilty. She always did, no matter how illogical
it seemed; it was her duty to protect people, put them behind bars, and she had let yet another person down. Elliot squeezed
her shoulder and she realised how much they communicated without saying anything at all.
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Later that evening, her arms curled around the blonde in her lap, Olivia couldn't shake off the dull feeling in the pit of
her stomach. She was more than happy to see Alex, but she had forgotten how cases could affect her – and her relationships.
“Penny for 'em” Alex murmured, looking into Olivia's eyes with concern. Olivia felt even more guilty, not wanting
to ignore Alex, and she sighed, closing her eyes.
“I'm sorry, Alex. This probably isn't what you need right now, huh?” Olivia's brow furrowed as she tried to
forget the images of the day. The grieving mother, begging her to justify her daughter's death; the photographs of the crime
scene; Warner, explaining how the young girl, Katie, had been raped before each of her fingers were sadistically cut off.
The fact that such a sociopath even existed made her feel ill. She felt the tension begin to ease as Alex kissed her forehead.
“I don't know how you can cope with your job sometimes,” the attorney said, placing her hand on Olivia's chest
and feeling the heart of her lover beat slow and steady. It was reassuring, safe. “All I know is, I've never known
anyone as passionate as you; I'm proud of you, you're a much stronger person than I could ever be.”
Olivia felt her eyes begin to prick and tears threatened. “To hear you say that is the greatest compliment I've ever
received,” she said, a tear escaping as she looked at her lover. Alex smiled and reached for the detective, wrapping
her in a hug as she tried to soothe the wraught woman in her arms. She didn't say anything; she didn't even need to ask what
had gotten Olivia so upset, as she'd seen Cragen earlier that day and he'd admitted that even he was shocked by the brutality
of their main case. For a man of Cragen's experience, it must have been pretty extraordinary. Sure, Alex saw the occasional
photograph and murder weapons in court, but she didn't have to deal with the people involved 24/7. She knew Olivia often
gave out her number, in case victims wanted someone to confide in. She was just that kind of person. Alex was roused from
her musings when Olivia murmured something against her shoulder.
“I love you, Alex.” Olivia was looking at her now, vulnerable, open and red-eyed, and Alex felt her heart melt.
“I think it could safely be said that I'm completely, utterly and totally in love with you, Olivia Benson.” They
looked at one another for what seemed like an eternity, before Alex sealed the deal with her lips.
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